The Countdown

I used to hate it, I used to hate having a plan. Now I see that writing out a daily plan, either in the morning or at night is necessary in order to preserve time. I tried many time management techniques before, none of them worked. Why? Because time is fluent, it moves, life is a subject to change. Every two hours, or even every hour I adjust my calendar and move the certain events around. This seems to do the trick. I finally found time to write, to read and to rap. I can do all three things, where before I barely found half an hour for reading.
In this dimension that we humans are living, time might be an illusionary concept, so managing it is a paradox. Time is a force of nature, like wind, water, fire. Is there any way to slow down time? Well can you control nature? Nope. Nature is a force of the universe (if not the universe itself). There are however things a human can do in order to flow with the stream of time, not against it.
Flowing with time is a skill. We can get the flow feeling whenever we are meeting with our friends, when we are doing something creative, when we are getting an adrenaline rush or when we are about to die. Flow is a specific part of consciousness. During flow we merge with the axis of time. Time no longer matters. It becomes us, a unity. When I’m writing this post I experience a state of flow. The sentences just lash out of my brain onto the screen. Like Bukowski said „bang bang bang”. Writing is not fun when you have to force yourself to write. I just simply write. Time for me is now an abstract construct.
Time has another weird factor to it. If we measure it, we can see it. When we don’t measure it, it’s invisible. You cannot touch time, but you can definitely touch something that has been shaped by time. Time is like an invisible hand of a sculptor. It will sculpt your body, it will sculpt a rock.
If you knew how much time you have left, it would motivate you to do the greatest things your body and soul are capable of doing. Somehow this illusion that our life will last forever has been hard wired in our brains. If you think that you need to work for the rest of your life, or that every day will look the same, you are wrong.
What is stopping you to become the greatest person yo ought to be? The answer is simple, an illusion of immortality. Illusion of a life long and prosperous. You need to wake the fuck up from this dream. You need to act now. Live every day like it was your last day.
That shit is hard to do. Between taking a nap and writing a blog post, 99% of people would take the nap. I take the harder route. I imagine that this is my last day on earth. Fuck it I’m going all in. I’m talking to that stranger, I’m hitting on that girl I met on the street. But I’m not shooting up heroin or drinking a liter of vodka. Fuck that shit, it’s unproductive and boring. I want to live a life that is full of passion, a life that is full of juice.
„If time is money, I’ve lost a fortune” This is a punchline in one of Polish rap songs. I could not agree more. Why did I wake up just now. What gave me this enlightening thought? I guess reading the stoics did. Marcus Aurelius talks about this in his Meditations. I actually bought myself a copy of that book in my native language and read a passage or two every day just to remind myself how short a human life is. Juice that fucker till the last drop.
The fact of my death gave me freedom. It liberated me from fear of living. I made a decision to fight my fears, get braces, get a better job, all at the same time. And I went to that interview like a boss. I kept thinking about my death, and that these people who are interviewing me will die too. Liberated is what I felt. I got that job, and I’m getting those braces. Fuck living like a coward, If ya live afraid of living, then you just might as well hang yourself on a towel in your bathroom right now.
It’s not wise to be greedy or bossy, or angry when it comes to life. But when it comes to Your personal time, be as greedy as you need to. From now on, manage your time, make an investment. Buy a small calendar that you can carry with you anywhere. Get a small pen. Get a pencil. Whatever. Scribble shit down, write down events, write down ideas, write down how you are feeling at a time of the day. Manage the grains of sand in the hourglass. The are falling down quicker than you think.
Time can be warped. I noticed that when I’m walking though the city with a meditation playlist in my ears. Mindfulness can warp time. Pay attention to every bite of your food. Pay attention to every step you are taking. Your brain will get you out of this state as soon as you attach to a thought. Thoughts are time thieves. Good, productive thoughts are necessary, they will help you grow and feel happy, but a negative self talk, a negative thinking pattern will not only rob you of your time, but it will rob you of your ability to be happy.
I just looked around the coffee place. Everybody is balls deep in their cell phones. God damn how I hate and love technology at the same time (no pun intended). Without technology I would not be able to write this. With too much distractions technology becomes like an opiate drug. Injection is so easy, getting out is close to impossible. Be very careful and mindful how social media and related technologies influence your time, and how much time you actually give to technology.

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