Will power and focus

This net-book is now just a typewriter. These letters and a glass of wine. They mix very well. One cup, not two. My will power needs to be forged. It needs to be forged in the fire of laziness and procrastination, and that fire is always burning deep inside. A diamond needs pressure and temperature to be born. I’m forging my own diamond. I don’t feel like writing. It’s 11:38 PM and I wake up at 6:00 AM. Fuck it. Still gonna write. I need to start somewhere. Why not just write about the past day, then if any idea surfaces, snatch it. Catch it like a butterfly. Who knows? Maybe in the 20 minutes that I sit here and hit the keyboard the most important work of my life will pop like a popcorn kernel. I need to ask the muse for permission, to help me navigate through my soul. If I can get some gems out of me before falling asleep then even better. The idea is simple: the text does not need to be perfect, not even good. It just needs to be. Be anything.

Can I get into the flow state with writing? It is possible, I’ve done it before. Standing on the crossroad of writing posts, poetry or music. I like all of them, they help me shine my skull, shine my inside. Once I let out the thoughts onto the hard drive, they are no longer a part of me, they are detached, they float freely. I can access my subconscious mind this way. I get a glimpse of my current emotions, I can question my emotions, I make order out of chaos.

I need to work more on my focus. Focus is key, especially in today’s world. Distractions are focus and flow killers. As I start to build my life skills, I keep seeing what components are missing. Currently my focus needs to be trained. By managing my time I can now target the areas that need growth. I had 8 hours in work to take notes and listen to podcasts. Fucking sneaky YouTube keeps recommending videos that are on the exact topics I’m currently researching. My brain wants instant gratification, so yeah, I clicked on one video and the focus was gone. I now started to jump from one video to another. I now know that If I click that play button, I’m lost. Focus. Stand still, hold your ground. Don’t click that video or you will die.

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